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Children are instructed to obey and honour their parents in the Lord (Eph. 6:1 -2). This is not an advice and neither is it a cultural expectation. It is a command. By obeying their parents “in the Lord”, they walk right with God. In today’s world where many young people think highly of themselves and think they know better, Eph. 6:3 reminds them that they will be blessed if they obey and honour their parents. By obeying and honouring their parents, they also develop a life of self-control, discipline, submission, love and respect. Children who rebel against their parents are in effect rebelling against God since it is God who has put them under their parent’s authority.

On the other hand, in Eph. 6:4, fathers are commanded not to exasperate their children. This command can apply to parents in general. Parents need to realize that even in their best intentions, they can frustrate their children. Authoritative parents force their will upon their children instead of encouraging them to seek God’s will. Unsupportive or disinterested parents break the hearts of their children. Aggressive parents embitter their children by their intolerable behaviour. Overprotective parents stifle their children. Unrealistic parents who disregard their children’s personalities and direct their children according to their own preferences and expectations end up frustrating both their children and themselves.

The second part of Eph. 6:4 reminds parents to “instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” They should bring up their children much like the way they would disciple another younger believer, inculcating godly values and helping them to establish a personal relationship with God based on knowledge of God and the Bible. The only difference is that as parents, God has given them additional authority over their children, including one to discipline them when appropriate.

Parents: Remember that you are to disciple your children according to the Bible, not according to ways of the world. Your primary goal is for them to be Christlike rather than to be successful in the eyes of the world.

Children: Know that God has asked you to honour your parents by obeying them for your own good. Charles Wadsworth said “By the time a man realises that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong”. So don’t wait to be a father to realise your father was probably right.